Posted on Posted in Life, Sword and Arrow

Masturbation has a very close sister word; masturdation, which I actually love.

It is a new age slang (not sure if it’s recognized as a word yet), for taking oneself out or treating oneself to things that are usually done for them or in a group or as a couple.


Masturbation… the very mention of this word will generate a certain shyness in some people.

It is considered as sacred as sex; you know the way you say sex in a church and everywhere gets uncomfortable.

Some argue if this act is wrong or if it should be encouraged but that is not why we are here right now.

So time for some real talk! The book of Songs of Solomon (One of my favorite books of the bible), has a verse that reads ‘do not awaken love until it is ready’… I can actually end my piece here for the sharp minds, but even the sharp minds know that it is not by knowledge or understanding that we succeed; it is by grace and conviction. Lets get convicted!


Masturbation is like playing with fire; it is awakening something before it is ready, and what this does for us asides the short frustrated fix, is that it creates unrealistic imaginations and disconnects us from reality.

The kingdom of darkness has constantly created fakes and replacements for the beautiful things the Kingdom of God has created and given to us.

Sex is beautiful but only truly beautiful within the context of marriage.

You know the time you can have sex on a Sunday morning and still go to church and lift up holy hands because earlier Jesus actually smiled at the orgasm your spouse gave you? (I need to stop here and pray; Jesus I need to get married like yesterday!)

Okay back to our talk; yeah the good sex… the type done in marriage has its counterfeit and fake which is the ugly masturbation, the one that rejects all that love is; it is not patient, it wants its own way, leaves you feeling empty and drained, unfulfilled and used.

In truth, masturbation leaves us with more demons to deal with.

Masturbation is a creeper; it creeps up on you slowly and digs its root deep.

It is a seed that is planted and watered by the very things we feed our senses with, the music we listen to, the shows we watch, the conversations we have, the places we let our minds wander to.

Slowly we give this desire a grip in our lives and the only way this desire knows how to get out is to get you to play it out and then we find ourselves slowly getting hooked on this quick fix that never truly satisfies.

Bad habits are hard to build and even harder to break, whereas good habits are hard to build and so easy to break!

sigh, this life… But no good thing comes easy so we need to work for it:

  • We need to work for the guilt-free clean lives we desire
  • We need to commit to guarding our hearts, ears, eyes and bodies
  • We need to honor our bodies and refuse to feed it anything less.

The degrading act of masturbation, the fact that you have to hide to do it and it fills you with shame is an indicator that it is a sin against your body and your better judgment.

So surrender to the healing power of salvation; let the word of God and the Holy Spirit lead you through a renewal and replacement of your mind, heart and conscience.

The process of breaking from masturbation happens differently for people, we have those who get convicted and their grace is large enough to end the act.

We also have those like me who need to be reminded often by the Holy Spirit with dialogues and pointers to why that life is not for me.

Some addictions have a deeper root cause and are harder to break; if my answers have not really helped you and you happen to struggle with this please ASK here.

You have a very understanding, experienced friend at the other end who is willing to help and walk with you through the journey of overcoming this mountain.

Our stories are different, unique, and worth listening to. Let us create better stories for ourselves.

Do not forget to keep the conversation going in the comments section below. 


Columnist Bio
Hi my name is Ellen Ukpi and I am living my best life now! Or so I think…oh well 
I can’t tell but what I can tell is that I am giving it my best and learning from 
my mistakes as I go on. I am a communications enthusiast and social media geek,I am 
passionate about curating culture and started a platform called @africanculturediary 
that is set to ensure that the past and present of our cultures are made relevant to the 
future. I am another ‘youngin’ who has discovered adulting is a scam and I am just trying to get out alive. 
Join me as we work our way out of this scam called adulthood.



  1. Very real. Very revealing and refreshing read, based on the Word! Keep this train (of thought and writings) going please..it is blessing many of us.

  2. Nice write up! Errm so I thought I would get more “deets” on “masturdating” because I tend to enjoy doing things meant for a group alone (can be very peaceful). I saw the word and I thought oh yes that’s me…But I see that the main issue is masturbating. Is it possible to discuss on the subject “masturdating” or this is not the place for that?

    1. Hello Mide, Sure this is the place to discuss that. I personally love doing some things alone, I enjoy my own company as much as i enjoy others. Masturbating and masturdatiing basically have the same base meaning in the sense that they both involve bringing yourself pleasure. One is harmful to you which is masturbating and the other is encouraged masturdating! I discovered that when I started doing things by myself it was strange but it helped me fall in-love with myself, now when I treat myself it’s an act of love to myself. At the end we are all we have really and we must learn to honor that.

  3. Can masturdating lead to masturbating? If you take pleasure in yourself by yourself to the extreme does it not have its own repercussion as the adage says..No man is an Island?

    1. Hello Adebayo, the two words have a similar concept but different tangents. Yes Masturdating to an extreme can be detrimental to you as it isolates you. A healthy balance is encouraged. Masturdating should only lead to masturbating in extreme situations

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