[EDITOR’S SPECIAL] AFRICAN-TIME’S PERSECUTION REPORT

Posted on Posted in Creativity, Editors Special

On the 31st of February, African-Time was sentenced to life imprisonment for violating the first rule of the Time Code and Conduct: TIME WAITS FOR NO MAN.

“I only went 3 minutes late for last weekend’s owambe,” reported Yinka, a professional pedestrian. “But by the time I arrived, all the food had finished!”

This unfortunate account further portrays African-Time’s suspected partiality in comparison to the millions of chronic latecomers who arrive 2 to 3.5 hours late for functions, only to be crowned as early members due to the obvious intervention of African-Time.

African-Time’s perpetration has contributed to wastage of lives due to the amount of time in which unsuspecting punctual victims have been maltreated in several processes.

Analysts have concluded that events and functions are routinely becoming late. African-Time has since been accused of actually waiting for certain individuals – latecomers to be specific – who don’t get affected by their tardiness due to the extreme delay of the scheduled functions and events.

“Upon my 3.4 hours late arrival at a seminar, I was pleased to find out that I didn’t miss anything as it hadn’t even started!” declared Emeka, an expired gala hawker.

It has hereby become a criminal act for functions and events to kick-off with excessive belatedness, thus leading to the brutal arrest of African-Time.

African-Time has recently pleaded innocence for the accused charges. Further investigations are currently being carried out despite the discovered uselessness of these pleas.

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