“My autopsia is my vision for tomorrow – it is my staying power.” – Caleb Ekpenyong
“It’s been a bad year.” That was the conclusion they came to on his behalf. It was their autopsy report and in a way, it did tend to define in total completeness his entire activity for that year.
I had decided to shift gear to talk about our autopsia which translates to ‘seeing with one’s own eyes’. We owe to ourselves the summary of the outcome of our lives or what life would have to offer us when the sun rises and sets in every season of our lives – it is called reflection.
When we look back, what do we see and how do we judge ourselves? Are we too hard on ourselves or do we tend to play it cool and carry on as if all is well or do we descend to the arena of blame games? Over time, I have come to the conclusion that in every aspect of our lives, we gauge and see things in our own eyes, different from how some other people might see it; this would trigger our running with our own understanding of our perception of things. But I have also come to realize that life is sometimes not white and black like we would love it to be – it comes in various shades of colors and some, we may not be able to distinguish it as it is extremely burly.
For a very long time in my journey, my autopsia was that of battered hope, shattered faith and lost love. It was my conclusion of who and what I was at the time. I saw no light at the proverbial end of the tunnel. I was lost because of my autopsia.
Today, I speak from a standpoint of knowledge and understanding of times and seasons, that life is what I choose to make of it when I am dealt a hard blow and that what I choose to see today has the capacity to either limit how far I will go or stretch me to fly to the hilltop. My autopsia is my vision for tomorrow – it is my staying power.
Sometimes, things will elude you – there will be missteps, your heart will be broken, you will be betrayed and you will feel lost and alone but it is a process you should learn to trust because to trust is to hope against what you see today. Hope, it is said is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.
Our shattered faith can be made whole by the things we decide to pursue – believing that it will all turn out well at the end.
Our lost love will be redeemed by the faith and hope we have in the little things that matter to us.
In the end, our autopsia will be culled from faith – hope and love in full measure.